I would say I’m quite socially conscious, meaning that I’m very atunned with society and everything that is happening around me. This makes me very aware of the homophobia, misogyny, toxic masculinity and sexism all around me.
If that’s not enough, being a black woman, I’m even more hyperconscious of microaggressions, racism, colourism, the sexualisation of the black body and all of that. So while being socially conscious or being “woke” is a very good thing I often find that it comes with its struggles.
As much as
Two nights ago, I was with a few friends and one of my friends let’s call him ‘Issac’ made a comment about how another one of my friends was wifey material after she made us something to eat. Me being me mentioned how I noticed that everyone always comments on how someone is “wifey material” after they cook, attuned that a woman is only wifey material if she can cook.
After a few puzzled looks, Isaac said: “I bet Koko’s is a feminist” which took me by surprise not because of the comment but because of the negative connotation that it came with. When I decided to take it further and explain why that wasn’t a negative thing, however, I was met with eye rolls from another one of my friends.
Situations like the above not only makes me upset but makes me feel as if I can’t talk about topics that I’m passionate about without being accused
On another occasion when visiting my parents, I mentioned how I came to eat as I honestly didn’t feel like cooking. Anyone who comes from an African background knows that at times the tradition can be deeply sexist, and would be my parents be Nigerian parents if they didn’t give me a lecture about how I have to cook even when I didn’t want to because one day I will have a husband who I will have to cook for.
Once I was in a heated debate after I called out an ex-friend for their version of feminism which was exclusive of sex workers, transwomen and black women. I noticed that while she had the right idea about what feminism was she only focused on the struggles of white women, and the discrimination that she has faced while still significant still didn’t acknowledge the other inequalities that are faced by WOC and other women who still faceb different types of inequality.
Obviously, it doesn’t take someone to be socially conscious to notice these things, the things I’ve mentioned are also just some that I have noticed. On a day to day basis I find that I have to bite my tongue but I also know what some problematic statements are made due to ignorance.
Is there anything you’ve noticed lately? Comment below to tell me all about it.