Why It’s Okay To Not Always Have Your Life Together

In light of mental health awareness month, one thing that’s been on my mind is the amount of pressure that we not only put on ourselves but have from such a young age to have our life together or at least know what direction our life is going. The more I think about it the more I struggle with the meaning of what it actually means to have your sh*t together.

All I can think about it is what you see in a movie, where the main actor has an eye-opening moment that makes them snap out of their problematic behaviour or even goes on a walk in the rain and when they get back home they’ve made all their decisions suddenly have their life back on track. I remember being a few years younger, waiting for that moment to come and after many walks in the rain, it never really did. 

I’ve realised that from such a young age we are asked what we want to be when we’re older and it seems that from then on everything that we do is to be able to have your sh*t together later on in life. Growing up in an African background this is something that I know all too well, its drilled in from a young age that your future depends on what you do now which leaves no room for mistakes or uncertainty.

I remember that towards the end of high school, all my friends seemed to have all their decisions made, they knew what they wanted to do, what university they wanted to go to and it seemed that everybody had their sh*t together but me. I remember having so much anxiety and stress that whenever asked about my plans for the future a huge lump would form in my thorat and I know that this feeling is probably familiar with a lot of people who feel or have felt that they’re not on the path that they want to be on.

From a philosophical perspective, one thing to remember is that everything happens for a reason.

Now if you ever said that to sixteen-year-old me I honestly would have would not have believed you- I was very impatient and wanted everything to make sense then and there but obviously, that wasn’t something that could happen in the real world and I had to come to terms with that. 

Quite recently I’ve had a change of career paths, as I mentioned earlier I was so stressed about what I wanted to do that I went along with something that wasn’t necessarily passion, but it was something that I was familiar with. After a year into my course, I realised that I wasn’t enjoying it which was part of the reason why I started my blog, I wanted to do something I was passionate about which in hand lead to me finding a course that I enjoy. 

This is an example of everything happening for a reason and working out in the end, believing that everything will work out cannot only take the pressure off but relieve the anxiety of not knowing where things are going in your life. So if you’re in a position where you don’t know the direction that your life is going or you feel like you don’t have your sh*t together, it’s always good to remember that no one really does, by putting so much pressure on your self you don’t allow room for things to naturally occur and happen by themselves.

While I understand that most of the times you have to actively lead your life and stir it in the direction that you want, however sometimes that doesn’t always happen and that’s fine.

Just know that you’re not completely alone and it’s okay to not always have your sh*t together.